Once you’ve decided who your life partner will be, the first thing that would come to your mind is marriage. There will be a lot of conversations that you will have with your partner – from deciding the wedding date to preparing the guest list to finalizing the venue to figuring out where to head for a honeymoon. Above all of these conversations, there are some things you need to talk about with your partner before you both tie the knot and start a life together. It’s important to know if you both are on the same page when it comes to some deal-breaking, crucial topics.
Keep in mind that these kinds of conversations aren’t easy. However, discussing important topics like career, money, and other issues before saying your wedding vows will eventually strengthen your bond and also give you the confidence that you two are perfect for each other.
Conversations to Have with Your Partner Before Getting Married
Here are some of the important conversations or topics you need to discuss with your partner before you two decide to get married.
It’s quite natural to openly talk about having kids with your partner. If you know your partner for a long time, then you would probably have already talked about it. If your partner is interested in starting a family then you should also know how many kids you both will be having. Find out whether your partner would be open to adopting a child or going through surrogacy if any fertility issues arise in future. These kinds of questions are important to ask so that you both may save a lot of trouble after marriage.
On the other hand, you should also know if one person would be willing to stay at home and be the primary caretaker for the kids. Of course, it’s difficult to know what kind of parents you would be. Or, what parenting style you would adopt. It’ll be only known once you have kids. However, discussing about such matters can be beneficial for you both.
It’s noteworthy to mention that financial issues often become the cause of a divorce. Therefore, we would suggest you not to hold back on discussing finances with your partner. While you may not think of your marriage as a business partnership but in reality, it really is. Similar to a business, a marriage also requires income to pay expenses and also make some profit from the left over (savings). Discuss with your partner whether you both will have a joint account or go for a separate bank account. It’s good to be open about your incomes and whether the person who earns more should also contribute more.
Plan out your incomes and expenses so you know how much cushion you have for spending. Most importantly, discuss your debts with each other. Remember unpaid student loans or credit card debt of one person can affect your financial future. So, you should talk about all your financial problems with each other openly to avoid any resentment in future.
A lot of couples go through problems after marriage when it comes to taking huge decisions regarding their careers. It has been often seen that most women resign after marriage as they want to spend more time at home, looking after her husband and family. There might be some cases where husbands wouldn’t allow their wives to work after marriage and would want to provide for them. You should ask your partner whether he would want you to continue working after marriage or handle family issues. If you’re workaholic and would want to work after marriage then you need to openly discuss this thing with your partner. This way your work and family won’t suffer at a later point.
When it comes to marriage, it is often said that you do not just marry a person. In fact, you tie the know with their entire family. So, when you’re married, you not only have to look after your partner but also their family especially if you’re all living the same roof. In case you are living independently, you still have to be thoughtful of your partner’s family.
You can discuss with your partner about how frequently you will be visiting your family and spend time with their parents and siblings. Or how often your parents will visit you. Even if your partner is planning to take an annual vacation with his family or siblings, you should know about such plans at the time he started planning. You may also talk to your partner about how involved you will be with your future in-laws or how much time you would want to spend with them.